Barriers to Active Listening

Active Listening in general is not a easy task to engage in. So there are barriers we may come across on a daily basis with this. There are a total of ten barriers mentioned in the text. However, I just want to cover a few that I felt I can pertain to the most and what I have seen amongst others in a small group as well. The first barrier is lack of interest. Last semester, I took a class on person and society which was a sociology course where every wednesday we would have answered journal questions from the previous night's reading and would come to class and discuss it in a circle. We applied what we learned to our everyday lives and I loved it because we could vent about things others could pertain to as well. There were some individuals who would never participate either because they were shy or they had a lack of interest in what was being discussed. I always found that as a barrier to active listening. Another barrier which I feel I do while active listening on a daily basis with friends, or individuals in general is ambushing which thinking and wiling to react to the individual we are listening to while they are talking instead of not thinking or acting or responding at all. I found these two barriers helpful and useful because active listening is something I know I need to work in definitely because I feel at times while someone else is talking, I'm already thinking of what to say next. So for a little while now, I have been working on trying to improve my active listening skills and to overcome the barriers to active listening.

Selective Attention

In one of my classes we discuss the ideology of sport and I noticed when we even discuss sport, it seems as if football and basketball are the main American domineering sports in America, even though I feel and believe baseball should be included as well because it is America's past time and the game and games can be fun if we choose to make it fun. That is a fact! :) So I’ve noticed whenever we discuss sports such as football and certain players I have not heard of that much but all the rest of the class seems to be aware and excited about, I tend to in a way tune out that information because I rather be talking about baseball or at least not have football be the dominating sport. Hockey is a growing sport as well and we are in Sharks territory so that could be brought up more as well, same with soccer which we discuss from time to time as well. This all relates to selective attention because the process I go through stated above is selection attention. Some reasons for selective attention as stated in our text on page 115 is that, "some things are more important than others, we are more likely to listen when the content supports our point of view, expertise or understanding can decrease interest in other viewpoints..." (Harris & Sherblom, 115). I not only agree with reasons because I have experienced each of them throughout my life and also have seen others go through it as well. How I think I can overcome it, for example going back to my personal story/example of selective attention, I can try to pay attention to the sport(s) being discussed more so I can be able to relate to my other classmates enjoyment of it and why my Professor discusses it because they know everyone else can be able to relate, not everyone but the majority of the class. So I feel even when I do not feel hearing about something, I should try to think more open-minded and listen to what and why others have to say on a certain topic I may not either be into as much or am not aware of and be willing to be open about it.

Sensing(Hearing the Message) and Noise

Earlier when I was walking with my brother on campus, he was discussing something and when he was asking me what I thought or if I found what he was talking about interesting, I sounded as if I had zoned out because of all the other individuals around us. I became distracted easily. That is why I decided to discuss Sensing(Hearing the Message) because as the text states, even being able to hear sounds and repeat words is not the same as "sensing" or hearing the message. It is important to keep in mind that sensing or hearing the message is a voluntary act and this is an important part of listening and occurs as a result when we decide which messages we want to hear. Also as the text states, "hearing and listening to the message are influenced by selective attention and the amount of external and internal noise"(Harris & Sherblom, 115-116). That is also why noise is an imperative process part of sensing (hearing the message) because since there are two types of noises (external and internal), either one of those noises can affect how we sense the message being stated to us. If I am distracted by another thought or thoughts going through my head while someone is trying to talk to me about something, such as when my brother was talking to me earlier, then I will not be able to fully sense the message that was being stated because of the noise which caused a distraction.

I could have overcome the noise (which is what I usually do) by tuning out those around us and just focusing on what my brother was trying to tell me. I noticed because I was also looking at the individuals that were coming from right behind us, in order for me to be able to have sensed the message more and have my ears open, was if I did not also look at the individuals. When I looked at the individuals, my hearing became distracted. That is why I thought this component of listening was very informative and helpful to be aware of.

Description of Groups-(Narratives vs Fantasies)

I found "description of groups" under narratives and fantasies to not only be useful and informative, however very helpful to be aware of. According to our text, a narrative "combines both reality and myth" (Harris &Sherblom, 92). However, a fantasy is the "creative and imaginative shared interpretation of event that fulfills a group's psychological ot rhetorical experience..." (93). I found the comparison to both be very interesting especially when descriptions of groups were categorized under this section because it compared and contrasted two separate groups that both are norms in our society and in history as well.

For example, this description of groups was broken down into two categories (groups), A and B. In A, there was "one big, happy family, athletic team, first class, explorers, warriors, and stage" and in B, 'insane asylum, snake pit, zoo, quicksand, boiling cauldron, and swamp" (93). Both groups relate to small group communication because both are opposite groups; one is the stereotypical good, perfect group and the other, the bad, negative type of group. In small groups such as an athletic team, a team may not always be classified in the type A group because especially in sports, a team is never perfect. Not everyone is going to get along, that’s why they say, "there's no I in team." If there was just an I, then sports teams would not be as influential in society as they are today, even in the past. In type B, a zoo for example, consists of a variety and diverse range of animals, who are all wonderful creatures. Some not as good as others, however not all are bad, and not all are good. I just thought using fantasy and narratives is a great way to explain that in life, nothing is always "black and white." We can't just judge a book by its cover, or we'll be missing the chance to read our future possible favorite book. Same with individuals and in small groups and in life. We are all lovely, unique, and wonderful individuals, and if we just stick to the same group because we have been socialized in it, then we will never have the chance to learn, grow, and develop as an individual and the whole point of the "game of life" is that we learn and experience something and someone(different people from different backgrounds) everyday.

Proxemics vs. Chronemics

When I first saw and heard of these words, I immediately thought of proximity for proxemics and chronology for chronemics. Turns out they both somewhat fit these terms. Proxemics has to do with how we "use space to communicate" (Gass & Seiter, 2007). How we take up and utilize space within one another is vital in nonverbal communication. For example, a universal rule in the Middle Eastern culture as well as Italian and Greek. These individuals tend to be touchy, feely, and warm people. So whether you’re a family member, distant relative, or friend of a family, each individual is very gentle and friendly. It is how these individuals are normalized in their culture. Chronemics has to do with studying the use of time and how according to the text, in the "western world, time is money." I have heard many individuals say that over the years, and even on a day to day basis, that since we are in a time frenzy(not enough time) in America, we have to always be going at a fast pace, there is never enough time to just kick back and relax, because that is wasting time. That is the universal rule of Americans especially for example, families who are sports oriented and each kid plays a sport. Each family member is always on the go, going to a practice, a game, on the road for a tournament. There is barely even time to "breathe." Both of these terms are essential tools utilized in our everyday lives and they help us to realize what are we doing and why we have become a society based on proxemics and chronemics.

Two Principles of Nonverbal Communication

Two of the eight principles of nonverbal communication that stood out to me were "our nonverbal communication affects the quality of our relationships" and "both parties assign meaning, and sometimes different meanings, to nonverbal communication behaviors"(Allyn & Bacon,99). I am a strong believer on nonverbal communication and how sometimes it means more than verbal communication because just a facial expression alone, says "a thousand words." It honestly does, because from my experience and in day to day life, I have encountered nonverbal communication at various times where I can tell how someone was feeling based on their facial expressions and body languages. For example on how it affects the quality of our relationships, in any given relationship, we have our ideations of that person or people involved and we are able to differentiate how that person is, and what their normalized to do, and act. For example, if I would to make a joke and a friend or colleague of mine in a group or team I am in has a certain look on their face or doesnt say anything, I could most likely tell if they liked my joke or did not based on their expression. That's not to say our assumptions made on nonverbal communication are always accurate, however, it is always good to be aware of how it can affect our relationships.
An example on how both parties assign meaning and sometimes different meanings to nonverbal communication ties into my previous example and explanation because not one of us thinks exactly the same and especially when it comes to assumptions being made, we all have our own definitions and meanings towards how each individual acts and reacts to something. For example,in intimate relationships, who also happen to be co-workers and are in a group or team meeting,there are conflicts between the two individuals because one of them thought something different to the other person's gesture, or expression and the other individual, may have argued they got the wrong impression based on the nonverbal communication going on in the relationship. That is why it is important to be aware of nonverbal communication and to not make assumptions so soon as well, because we all assign our own meanings to nonverbal communication.

Post-Meeting Evaluation Forms

I felt this whole chapter covered the basis on what my organization does when it comes to presentations. So that is why I felt "post-meeting evaluation forms" was an interesting concept from the chapter because what this form highlights is feedback on how the participants did. It is a questionnaire like form and asks for example, how you would rate the group, and gives a few options, asks the highlights of the decision, the strengths and weaknesses and changes (improvement) that needs to be made.
When each of our group's gets evaluated, we actually have an evaluation form for the actual members and the observers so we can also rate ourselves in comparison what the observers thought as well. I feel this is a very effective method because I always like to see what others have to say on a presentation and I value each individual's feedback, even though sometimes it may be biased. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and that is the main point of the post-meeting evaluation forms.

Observer Feedback Guidelines

Whenever I have observed a group or there has been an observer for a group I have been in, there are certain guidelines that need to be followed. I have been taught over the years that just saying "good job" is not very helpful because the whole reason why a group has an observer is to see what needs to be improved(there is always need for improvement for any area in life) as well as what went really well. It is also helpful to mention and to view behaviors of the members in the group and what should or needs to be changed. The whole point of being an observer is also to not to stir up a dispute amongst any of the group members. An observer is there to observe, and report their opinions of the group's behaviors, stated comments and remarks and verbal and nonverbal communication. It is also imperative to be aware the main reason of being an observer by maintaining one's role and for example, one trait an observer should possess is starting off with their inferences on what went well (the positive) and end with what needs to be improved. It is also the observer's role to be clear and specific as to what they are trying to state and infer to the group. If a statement made by the observer is hard to follow or understand, the group will not have a concise and clear understanding on how to improve. Lastly, it is key that the observer, also tries to develop a nice bond or relationship with the group members during the feedback process because by trying to stray away from insulting, or having a negative attitude during the process, the group will feel comfortable and willing to listen more to the observer because they know the observer is a non-biased and nice person who's main goal is to be there to help the group improve and grow for the future.

CH 14: Observing and Evaluating a Small Group

In the organization I am a part of on campus, we have teachbacks which are presentations on our specialties that we present back to everyone in our organization to see first and to give us their feedback. This is usually more meant and helpful for the new volunteers because they have not had the chance to present to an audience yet, so to have their fellow peers who know somewhat on their topic watch, and be helpful and insightful. However, one thing I have noticed especially this semester more than ever, having a consultant or observer evaluating a small group who already knows what we are presenting may not be as effective in comparison to someone who does not know what we are talking about because since they already know what to look out for, sometimes the questions asked and the comments stated can be biased. However, at the same time, it is also very helpful to have an individual (the observer or consultant) know what the group is engaged in, so that individual will have an idea on what to look out for while observing. Overall, having an observer or consultant for a small group offers a non-biased (usually), strategic observation(s) made amongst the individual to get a look on the inside from an outsider's perspective on how this small group communicates with one another.

I felt giving my personal example ties in well with what this chapter discussed because it mentioned evaluations and how they are conducted and how consultant observers who are not affiliated with the members of the small group, will offer "excellent insights (p.248). I also agree with that statement as well because whether we use a consultant or observer for a small group, either are necessary so the group will know how they are doing based on someone else observing and taking notes on how the individuals interact and communicate with each other, how the verbal and nonverbal communication is dispersed among the group as well.